Marxism 2014 was declared a great success tonight.”It was even bigger than last year” said Dave,a worker who was on strike today.
The opening rally was joined by a surprise guest Lady Butler-Sloss, who had heard of the SWP’s “disputes committee” procedures and declared that we could all learn from each other.
One member of the audience, two of who’s fingers seemed to be permanently stuck in the air, actually heckled from the floor – a practice frowned upon by workers at a democratic conference.
Thankfully, Home Office worker Mark Sedwill explained that despite her closeness to those she was investigating, she was “a woman of unimpeachable integrity” and praised the “integrity, capability, intelligence and rigour that she will bring to this role”
Other highlights of Marxism 2014 included a statue of a pony alongside last years now rather bedraggled paper mache Zinoviev, a jazz band, a male-nude figurine singing “when I’m Sixty Four” on a loop, and an origami model of Caxton’s printing press.
The location of this year’s Marxism was simply billed as Central London in order to prevent the infantile antics of “Occupy Marxism“. One of the staff at the venue, an old Crofter, must have been so terrified at the thought of being invaded by non-Leninsts that she locked her door.
Official Statement from the SWP, organisers of Marxism 2014
Not everything on the internet is true. But we were pleased to hear that now the childish Facing Reality blog is back, it will no longer be attacking important Magical-Leninist Parties and instead intends to write about obscure subjects such as organising workers, child sexual abuse, male rape, why cars must be outlawed and anything else he thinks The Left has left uncovered.